Sir and i were discussing his early dalliances into TTWD the other night and he turned me onto some of the sites that he used to visit and some he just recently rediscovered and one of them really struck me given our background and circumstances. It is published by a young woman who is near our age, maybe a tad older, who was a military spouse, something i was dangerously close to becoming myself and but for some very very odd occurrences with Mister’s contract would have been. She seems to have disappeared and left off at a cliffhanger so i am hopeful that at some point she will either resume blogging or she will at least resolve the cliff hangers and sign off properly because well, i am a bit curious what happened and made a connection that i feel like i know her.
i borrowed something from her site
i kneel at Your feet, head bowed, eyes down. You reach down and cup my chin, lifting my face and meeting my eyes with Yours. You see adoration, submission, respect and love shining clearly through from my soul. i see dominance, love, determination, pride, and joy shining through Yours. You stroke my hair and i shiver from the pure anticipation of Your touch.
When we began this Your desires were made clear. You wanted a submissive, not a doormat. You wanted a human with emotions, not a robot or a puppet. You wanted property that You would value, not get bored with and quickly cast aside. You demanded that i speak my mind and that i always be true to myself in doing so i would be true to You. You don’t demand respect that was earned with time and trust.
i needed a strong man, confident and intelligent who would accept my gift of submission completely. Who would guide me along life’s path and would honor my desire to serve him. A man who would tread carefully with my heart and emotions. A man who would demand that i give all and would patiently tear down my carefully built walls. A man who would push my boundaries, but not cross them, who would grow with me and be my leader. A man who would open me up to a world of endless possibilities, claim my heart, dominate my body and challenge my mind. i found that man, my Mister in You.
i know You are responsible for me and in that i am Your property. You treat me in such a way that Your investment will shine, prosper and last. As in any item that is owned of great value You put time in my upkeep, energy in keeping me at my prime. Broken, i would do little for You. Well oiled and maintained i serve You well.
i occasionally malfunction but You have the tools and the ability to fix me and set me straight again. My joy comes in knowing that i am Yours to do what You want with. Knowing, You would never truly hurt me, never ask more than what i could give, never demand more than what I could be. You know me more than i know myself, You see in me much more than i could ever fathom, and You know all my weaknesses but accept me anyway.
Every action i take belongs to You, every thought i hold, every word i speak all Yours to claim, to control if You so wished. Knowing this keeps me going down the right path, truly desiring nothing more than to serve and make You proud. My every movement is to please You and in doing so it pleases me to my very core.
i serve You voluntarily. i consent to Your ownership. You own me because at one time i gave You permission to do so. A permission You understand i would never take back for it was not given lightly. You do not hold my life over my head, You do not beat me into submission, and You do not manipulate me into staying. i am free to go if i ever so decided, but I stay out of my own free will. It is my gift to You. My acceptance of Your terms. My completely surrender to Your will.
i am owned by You and I am happy.
In this writing i feel like my feelings towards Mister are well described. Kudos army wife, kudos.